Oh the ups and downs. The dad and I have definitely had our share.
We were married very young with a little one on the way. It was very very hard in the beginning.
We were still growing up and trying to be a family at the same time.
The Dad and I split up a lot at the beginning. We always thought that divorce was the quick answer and used it against each other many times. Although, we tried very hard, we couldn't stay away from each other. We worked things out and we were in a very good place for a long time. Then the bottom fell out.
In October of 2008, The Dad and I separated. We thought that there was more for us out there with someone else. We thought that we would be happier. We were... for a while. We dated other people, we hurt each other. We hurt each other very much. It was the worst time of my life. About 3 months into our separation, I knew. I knew that I wanted The Dad and no one else. It was so hard to think that he would not be a part of my life or that he was with someone else. We were separated during the holidays, which was horrible. To make it even worse, my grandmother passed away on Thanksgiving day that year. I felt so alone, so sad. I expressed this feelings to The Dad, but he was not ready to reconcile, and I didn't blame him. It would be a while before we were both over the hurt.
The day we were to sign our divorce papers, something clicked. The Dad handed me the papers and said he didn't want me to sign them. I didn't. We talked for a very very long time and decided that we wanted to be together. We wanted to be together forever.
Luckily, The Dad and I have been able to move forward with our life. We moved away from Coastal Town and all the horrible memories there. That was very hard, we missed our families and friends, but we made a life in Golf Town. For the first time we did not have anyone else to lean on but ourselves and it made us much stronger. We are very happy now. We still have our arguments, but that is just The Dad and I. We communicate with bickering and finish the conversation with a kiss. Blame it on the Irish and Italian in us. If one of us does bring up the D-word in an argument the other is very quick to make it known that we will NEVER threaten that again.
We were married very young with a little one on the way. It was very very hard in the beginning.
We were still growing up and trying to be a family at the same time.
The Dad and I split up a lot at the beginning. We always thought that divorce was the quick answer and used it against each other many times. Although, we tried very hard, we couldn't stay away from each other. We worked things out and we were in a very good place for a long time. Then the bottom fell out.
In October of 2008, The Dad and I separated. We thought that there was more for us out there with someone else. We thought that we would be happier. We were... for a while. We dated other people, we hurt each other. We hurt each other very much. It was the worst time of my life. About 3 months into our separation, I knew. I knew that I wanted The Dad and no one else. It was so hard to think that he would not be a part of my life or that he was with someone else. We were separated during the holidays, which was horrible. To make it even worse, my grandmother passed away on Thanksgiving day that year. I felt so alone, so sad. I expressed this feelings to The Dad, but he was not ready to reconcile, and I didn't blame him. It would be a while before we were both over the hurt.
The day we were to sign our divorce papers, something clicked. The Dad handed me the papers and said he didn't want me to sign them. I didn't. We talked for a very very long time and decided that we wanted to be together. We wanted to be together forever.
Luckily, The Dad and I have been able to move forward with our life. We moved away from Coastal Town and all the horrible memories there. That was very hard, we missed our families and friends, but we made a life in Golf Town. For the first time we did not have anyone else to lean on but ourselves and it made us much stronger. We are very happy now. We still have our arguments, but that is just The Dad and I. We communicate with bickering and finish the conversation with a kiss. Blame it on the Irish and Italian in us. If one of us does bring up the D-word in an argument the other is very quick to make it known that we will NEVER threaten that again.
To any couple is that is going through a bad time in your marriage, divorce is not always the answer. I know that in some cases it is definitely the answer but not in all cases. I urge you to step back and really see the big picture before taking that plunge. The grass is NOT always greener on the other side. My grass is the greenest when I am with The Dad.
I know this post is a little all over the place but it was really hard to write.
*Pearl*
I thought that was a wonderful post, Lelia. Very well said, and I'm glad that you two were able to work out those things. Thank you for sharing. :o)
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post!!! No one really tells you how tough marriage can be! I'm just 10 months in & I can tell you that it is a lot different than before we were married. Not bad, just things change - & you really don't expect them to! Marriage is wonderful - but it is important to know that it may not always be - .. & you just have to get through it. Tough or not - it is a forever choice. So, glad that you & B changed your mind that day! Everything takes time & heart.
ReplyDeletexooxox
Thanks Guys!
ReplyDelete@Tami- Yes, it is hard and it is certainly different but it is worth it.
PS. Your post just made me cry! I am so glad to have met friends like you through Bob.
:) You're amazing.
ReplyDeleteUmmm... No Mam, you are!
ReplyDeleteawww.. yall needed a tv show back in the day
ReplyDeleteChristmas with our family, but not tog
ER trips with your kidneys.. haha sounds like a MTV show.
but I love yall soooo much and glad everything worked out..even if it didnt, you would still be in my wedding..DUH
DUH! You are team Lelia and will love me more forever!
ReplyDelete