Weekend Wrap Up

First of all I have to announce that I HAVE A NEW JOB!!!!
I found out Friday afternoon, that I was being offered the Marketing Assistance position at a local realty group. I am so stinkin' excited. Not only will I get to do more graphic design but I will also get to work with some really great people.
It is a big company, so the chance for grown is much higher.

Big THANK YOU to that person, you know who you are. You are pretty awesome.

So ANYWHO.

Friday night we went over to Grits house to let Doodle and EJ ride 4 wheelers and play.
There may or may not have been a couple glasses of wine for their Mamas.

This was Dood's first time on a 4 wheeler and HE LOVED IT!
He had so much fun. He wants one now. This is one of the problems living down south. Your children want 4 wheelers at 5 years old... scratch that.
It is not a problem, I love that he wants a 4 wheeler at 5 years old!

EJ Showing off her 4 wheeler riding skills!

Playing Chicken.

Saturday was planned to be jam packed with Dood's school carnival, t ball practice and a birthday party. We made it to the carnival but that was it. It started storming pretty bad so t
ball practice was canceled and we did not make it to the birthday party.

Dood, loving the slide.

He was ridiculous.
He would jump and twist coming down the slide. He gave me several minor heart attacks.
I am still recovering.

He smoked the "big kid" he was going against! GO DOOD!

Another slide. Another heart attack.

He loves some Chik-fil-A

Ok, you see the girl in the above picture??? That is Dood's "girlfriend". She is in 4th grade. He got her a valentines gift. He is in love. She helps him cross the street when I pick him up from school. My son likes older women.
I am not sure how I feel about this.

Bahahahahaha.
I can not look at the photo without cracking up. He asked for Spiderman.
I did not have the heart to tell him he looked like a sad clown.
I think he knew :)

I said Cotton candy and he perked right up!

This is Dood with red hair. He looks even more like a clown but he thought he looked just like Spiderman. I let him believe it. He is only small once.

He played a lot of games! It was so much fun. My baby's first school carnival.
SO this had my motherly menstruating hormones already out of whack... just wait til you see what my husband did to me today...

BUT before that I have to tell you about heart attack #423 for the weekend. See that red hair spray???? BRIGHT FRIKIN' RED hair spray??? Yep, about 2.8 seconds after he took that chunk out of the cotton candy, he laid down.... on my cream carpet.

I scrubbed it 6 times and it was still red. BUT I have to tell you guys. Grits told me to try scrubbing bubbles (I know it sounds crazy) but it worked.
Got all the red out of the carpet in 1 try.

We are never getting our hair sprayed again.... pssshhhh who am I kidding. If the boy wants to spray his hair for 2 tickets, he will get to, and I will scrub the floor....
Speaking of hair... wait til you hear what The Dad did to me today.

So this is pretty much how the boys were all day today.
It was rainy and cold and Mom was busting her butt to clean the house and this is what the boys did. Video Games.... all day. Ugh.

Like Father....
Hello??? Anyone home???? Mom, here. I made lunch!!!

Like Son..
Hello???? Mom talking!! I carried you for 9 months. Do you know I exist right now??


Give it up lady.

So now onto what The Dad did to me today. See him and Dood have been campaigning for me to let them buzz Doods hair. With t ball and summer coming, The Dad said it would be much cooler.

I said over my dead body.
No one is going to touch my sweet, precious, innocent baby's golden locks.
The same locks that make my baby still look like baby.
NO FRIKIN' WAY. OVER MY DEAD BODY.

Well, I am here to inform you that my dead body is typing this. They won.
My heart is broken and Mom is in the corner crying and looking at baby pictures and rocking back and forth, repeating... he is never growing up, he is never growing up,
he is NEVER growing up.

The Dad then told me to get a grip and proclaimed them twins and kings of the household.

I am still holding his baby blanket crying.

*Sobbing Hormonal Mess Pearl*

Oh no you didint....

I am a little perturbed today. I know you are thinking what's new, BUT, I actually have several reasons to be perturbed BUT I also have a BIG reason to be knee-slapping happy AND one reason to be hand-sweating worried.....

so since I am perturbed I am writing a list.

Why I am perturbed:

1. My little sister called me today and her peice of shit baby daddy is being an ass and now she can not go back to her home in New York but has to stay in Illinois and all I want to do it hug her and let her know that it will all work out. She is my baby sister, she has made some stupid decisions (sorry sis, it's true) but I love the hell out of her and it is killing me not being able to be there for here. I wish I could just jump in my car and drive the 11 hours to her and just squeeze the mess out of her, but I can't so we call each other 1,548,215,646,621 times a day.

2. I am super perturbed that we owe the effin government money and we had to pay a tax person to tell us that we have to pay the effin government money. Lordy Be.

3. I am perturbed because I am about to start my period, (What? It's my blog and I can talk about menstration if I want to) which means I am a HUGE emotional ball of mess. I seriously, wanted to ball in a fetal position and cry my eyeballs out earlier. THANK YOU GRITS for stopping that emotional breakdown waiting to happen. She has a good way of calming me down. She puts things in perspective. I do not.

Why I am knee-slapping happy:

1. I am 97.3% sure I have a new job. Interview tomorrow. I will let ya know how it goes.

Why I am hand-sweating nervous:

1. See #1 under why I am knee-slapping happy.

2. My high school aquantance turned blog bff is having brain surgery tomorrow. She has 3 beautiful children and suffers from intense, horrible headaches that keep her from being the wonderful mom that she is. While I am nervous, I know the surgeons know what they are doing, so I will just pray for her. All of you please pray to whomever it is you pray to that her surgery will go well, that she will recover quickly and that she will be back to leaving the only comments I get on this little ole blog again in no time.

Mel- I will be praying and thinking about you ALL DAY tomorrow and through your recovery. I am sooooooo glad you and I have found this medium to relate on. You are AMAZING!

That is all for today other than this:

I love to say the word perturbed. Perturbed. PeRtUrBeD. PERTURBED. Feels funny.

*Perturbed Pearl*

Wordless Wednesday... almost.

We went to Coastal town a couple weeks ago... yes weeks. I love these people!

Well...her? She is crazy, and one of my best friends in the entire world.
They are Florida fans and we have an love/hate relationship.

The Dad and his best frannn.

Bahahahahahaha

Nothing like getting together with friends that make your heart feel at home.

*I miss my BFF's Pearl*

Put me in the zooooooo

Well we took the monkey back to the zoo... I kid I kid.

We went to the zoo on Sunday. We were accompanied by Doodle's Pre-K Best friend Diddy (Like Kong) and his sweet funny parents! I am so glad these boys became friends in pre-k because I like being friends with his mama!

Ok so this post has 1 million pictures so if you don't like pictures of animals do not go on.

Through these 1 million pictures I will tell you what I learned at the rightful age of 27 at the zoo.

1. The boys have to pose like a gangster is 77.6% of the photos you take at the Zoo.

2. Lemurs, as well as 96.3% of animals at the Zoo are LAZY. Yep, I said it. Get ready to enjoy a tons of photos of animals laying/sitting/down.

3. Yuck. 99.9% of people with me agreed.

I took a bunch of snack pictures but they turned out horrible. Boo

4. This snake was under water and had bubbles stuck to his nose. I thought is was funny.
0% of the people with me agreed.

5. I 100% love the look of wonder in my baby's eyes when he takes in something he has never seen before.

6. These reminded me of the big snake that comes out of the ground in Beetlejuice, only .0000001% of the size. I am done with percentages. I got bored.

7. Seahorses are lazy.

These seahorses are literally laying down.... lazy.

8. I want crab legs. This photo DOES NOT do the size of this joker justice.
It was HUGE. (twss)

Brass turtle.

Cute Kids

9. Apparently Duck Tape can fix everything. Including the shell of a 80 year old turtle.
Poor Thang!!!

10. I pink puffy heart elephants but they stank.
11. The back of doodle's head is just as adorable as the front.

Um... honey I do not think that is moving.

I think I can, I think I can, I think... I have a headache.

Brass Elephant

12. Giraffe's have VERY long tongues. Doodle get to feed one and after he said:

UGH.. Mom can I wipe my hand on your pants. it is gross.

No, son you can not.

He is cute, I didn't say anything about him being the smartest kid... I kid I KID.

Giraffe.

13. Crocodiles are Lazy

14. This bird is freakin' huge.

15. Zebras are natural butt guys.
I love love love Zebras but this is the only good picture I was able to take because the other 8 are of his butt.

16. My child should work on a farm.
He was way too excited about milking this cow. MOOOO.

17. My son does not know the difference between a goat and an emu.

Mom, can I please feed the emu.

That's a goat.

Ok, can I please feed the goat.

Sure, you got some trash?

What?

Nevermind, please take more of my money.

Thanks. Heeeeeey Emu I have some food.

Cute kid on a train

Brass Monkey... that funky Monkey
(I'm sorry, I have been planning that since Sunday)

18. Lions are LAZY.

I'M THE KING OF THE WORRRLLLDDDD!

19. You guessed it... Tigers are LaZy.

Brass Tiger

Be still my heart. This kid....

20. Koala's are known to sleep a lot so I will let them slide.
They are sooo fluffy... and lazy.
(Opps)

21. Wallaby's are laaazzzyyy.

22. I want to have this guy as a pet.
He is definitely not lazy... he is chill and I named his Fred.

AWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

23. My child turned into a Monkey.

24. I should have taken this approach to parenting.
Just hang onto the babies tail... and pick bugs out of his hair.
Ok maybe not the bugs.

Please LAWD let us find the gorillas before these boys have a heart attack.

Brass Lioness

Brass Lion

25. Boys like to climb on brass animals.

26. This lady is probably on some sort of medication.
That is the only explanation for her patience.

You can't see through these.
They are not real, they are just for pretend.
but, you can not see through them.
sigh.

27. Bears are Laaaaazy.

28. Kangaroos are LAZY.
Aren't they the ones that jump???

29. Donkey Kong breeds an unhealthy interest in all things gorilla.

The boys were so excited to see the gorillas!! This was their favorite.

30. This explains a lot.

Don't mess with me!

aannnnndddd my son still has bruises on his chest, but I will not mess with him. :)

31. Lizards like to conoodle.

32. I need one of these cute little monkeys for my life to be complete.

33. Meerkats are Lazy Lazy Lazy.

Who you looking at, fool?

34. Flamingos are certainly not lazy... They stand on one foot ALL day.
35. They are not pink. They are salmon.

My 2nd favorite part after the zebras.
Scratch that.
36. Penguins are better that zebras because they did not moon me in every picture.

Favorite picture from the whole day! Isn't it cool?

AWWWWWWWWWEEEEE!

37. My boy did not like touching the snake.

THESE BOYS ROCK!!!!
Ha Ha I crack my butt up!

The boys with their new friends. Doodle got a gorilla (surprise) and named him Sam.

Successful first trip to the Zoo. Doodle and Sam were fast asleep!

38. I love love love the kid above.

For those of you who actually made it through this LONG photo blog. Thanks for sharing my memories. This blog to for frikin EVER and I am taking a break... be back never. I kid I kid.

*Never posting that many photos again Pearl*